Three Weeks Ago, In a Forest Far Away….

Three weeks ago today, I had turned our master bedroom into a bridal suite, where the bride and the mothers would gather to get ready for the wedding.

And what a glorious four hours we spent together! Mimosas and pastries. Curling each other’s hair and applying makeup. Fluffing tulle on the wedding dress. Using Google Translate to carry on a conversation with the groom’s mom from Romania. Visiting with my sister and her daughter, who were also in the room. All of us giddy with excitement and nerves, until finally, we were ready.

And then, the bride went downstairs to meet the chauffeur of the vintage car that would transport her to the wedding.

For most of Calgary, it was just another Friday afternoon. But for us, it was a dream come true.

All those weeks and months spent gathering props for the venue, sewing table coverings and ceremony drapes, baking sweets, finding dresses, and designing flowers for the outdoor setting had finally culminated in one perfect day of celebration and joy.

The floral arrangements looked right at home in the forest venue Lexie had chosen for her big day. Everything was wonderfully, magically foresty. The bride herself looked like a nymph who had wandered out of Narnia or Middle-earth. The floral table coverings rippled in the breeze like something out of a fairytale.

And the grazing buffet? It would have pleased Marie Antoinette. We even had three cakes, if you catch my drift.

Our closest family and friends gathered in a clearing in the woods to witness Lexie and Red’s soulful vows, hear their love story, and share in our joy.

And now, only three weeks later, it all seems like a distant, beautiful memory.

Autumn is upon us, and everyone has returned to their routines. Work. School. Startup meetings and gatherings. Yard cleanups. Leaves turning colour and fluttering to the ground. A certain crispness in the air. A propensity to make soups and pies. Fireplaces being coaxed back to life. The scent, not of May Day trees, but of campfires, filling the air. Puffer coats brought to the front of the closets.

Life goes on.

And isn’t that the curious thing about life? We spend months anticipating something wonderful, pouring our hearts, our energy, our creativity, and sometimes our very souls into making it happen. And then, almost in the blink of an eye, it’s over. The flowers are gone, the dresses are hung back in closets, the guests have returned home, and the world carries on as though nothing extraordinary has happened.

Except that something extraordinary did happen.

A daughter got married. Two families became one. Promises were made beneath a canopy of trees. Memories were created that will be told and retold for years to come.

And somewhere in the midst of an ordinary October afternoon, while the leaves fall and the soup simmers, I find myself smiling at the memory of it all.

Three weeks ago, we were living a fairytale.

Today, we’re simply living.

And really, that’s rather lovely, too.

Chapter XXVII In Which the Wedding Is Concluded, the Weather Behaves Itself, and the Hearts of Several Families Are Made Entirely Full

It may reasonably be supposed that, after so many months of preparation, correspondence, baking, sewing, purchasing, arranging, rearranging, and the daily arrival of parcels from a certain Mr. Amazon, there could remain very little to surprise a mother of the bride.

And yet, now that the wedding weekend had at last come to a close, Mrs. Stewart found herself seated quietly at home, quite overcome by the extraordinary fullness of her heart.

There had been, of course, the planning.

There had been the sewing, which had seemed at times to possess a life of its own; the baking, which had produced quantities of confectionery quite beyond the reasonable requirements of any gathering of eighty-five persons; and the logistics, which had required an understanding of time, distance, weather, family relationships, flowers, desserts, umbrellas, food covers, vintage automobiles and a number of other matters which, under ordinary circumstances, might never have been considered together in the same week.

There had been guests arriving from nearly every conceivable direction, for the family, being rather widely distributed, appeared to have interpreted the invitation as a challenge to international travel.

There had been flowers.

There had been cleaning.

There had been pedicures, manicures and considerable attention paid to the condition of everyone’s hair.

And then there had been the weather.

The weather, it must be admitted, had behaved in a manner entirely unsuitable to the occasion.

Rain had been forecast.

Rain had indeed arrived.

And yet, when the moment came, the sun appeared with such remarkable punctuality that Mrs. Stewart could not help but suspect that someone, somewhere, had been listening.

There had also been prayer.

Much prayer.

Prayers that everyone would arrive safely and in good health. Prayers that the family would have the strength to accomplish what had been undertaken. Prayers that the many separate pieces of the celebration would somehow come together according to Lexie’s particular vision and the desire of her heart.

For Lexie, it must be understood, had possessed a vision.

A very particular vision.

Red, on the other hand, had been perfectly content with the marriage they had already enjoyed in the backyard two years before.

But Red loved his bride.

And so, being a sensible man in at least this respect, he had agreed that if his bride desired a wedding, then a wedding she should have.

He helped.

He supported.

He loved.

And he gave her the wedding of her dreams.

Indeed, it became the wedding of everyone’s dreams.

Mrs. Stewart, seated in the front row during the ceremony, soon discovered that the family had not gathered merely to admire the flowers, the decorations, the vintage automobile or the many other pleasing arrangements which had consumed so much time and effort.

For there was a sound behind her.

Sobbing.

There was more beside her.

And, to her increasing awareness, considerable emotion farther down the row.

It was not, however, the aesthetic beauty of the occasion which had undone them.

It was the sincerity.

When Lexie came down the aisle with her father, she was crying.

Red, standing upon the platform beside the minister, was also crying.

And when Red declared that he loved Lexie with his whole soul, it was generally agreed, though no formal vote was taken, that the remaining members of the congregation had very little chance of maintaining their composure.

Those vows.

And then Lexie began to speak in perfect Romanian.

At which point even those who could not understand a single word understood everything.

There are moments, Mrs. Stewart reflected afterward, when a mother is reminded that the most beautiful things in life are not necessarily the things one can arrange.

Nicholas Sparks himself could scarcely have improved upon it.

And then, as though the day had not already been sufficiently determined to exceed expectations, Lexie and Mike arrived in a vintage car.

At this point, Mrs. Stewart could only conclude that Providence had perhaps developed an excessive fondness for theatrical entrances.

For the perfection of the day was almost alarming.

They had established the venue that morning in the rain.

They had worked beneath umbrellas and clouds and uncertainty.

They had prepared themselves in a homemade bridal suite while the weather remained entirely indifferent to their plans.

And then the sun came out.

Not for five minutes.

Not merely long enough to suggest false hope.

It came out and decided to stay.

Such behaviour from the weather could only be described as miraculous.

There was another matter which made the occasion particularly significant.

All seven children of Mrs. Stewart’s ninety-four-year-old mother had come together to witness the marriage.

All seven.

And thus, the heart of the mother was full.

Red’s mother and brother had also finally arrived from Romania, having endured an airline adventure which might have provided sufficient material for an entirely separate chapter.

And thus, Red’s heart was full.

As for the mother and father of the bride, their hearts were full for reasons too numerous to catalogue.

They were simply full.

And perhaps the most fortunate aspect of the entire arrangement was the manner in which the weekend had been divided.

The wedding was Friday.

Saturday remained available for visiting with relatives and friends.

And Sunday brought the family together once more for dinner at the sailing club.

No rushing from one obligation to another.

No desperate attempt to fit everyone into a single afternoon.

Instead, there was time.

Time to talk.

Time to laugh.

Time to sit together.

Time to recognize the people who had travelled so far to be there.

It had been, Mrs. Stewart concluded, rather perfectly arranged.

The wedding was over.

The guests had departed.

The food had been packed away.

The flowers had been gathered.

The cars had been loaded.

The family had returned home.

And yet, as she sat reflecting upon it all, she could not bring herself to regard the weekend as finished.

For some occasions do not truly end when the last guest leaves.

They settle instead into the heart.

And there they remain.

Forever

One Week Before the Wedding

Tonight, I am sitting in my favourite chair with a cup of tea, looking around my quiet house and thinking, How is it possible that my daughter is having a wedding in one week?

One week.

It seemed so far away for so long, and suddenly it is right here.

There is still an astonishing amount to do.

The funny thing about weddings is that so much of the work simply cannot be done very far in advance. You can plan and organize and make lists until your heart’s content, but eventually you reach the week before the wedding and realize that the lawn still needs to be cut, the flowers need to be watered and deadheaded, groceries need to be bought, cars need to be cleaned, rooms need to be prepared, and food needs to be made.

Some things have to wait until the very last minute.

Tomorrow my daughter and I are going for pedicures. I need to find a nail polish that will go with my dress. Then I need to come home and see if I can coax my sewing machine back to life after it rebelled on me tonight. Because there are still a few sewing projects to finish.

This weekend involves house cleaning and more baking and grocery buying  and car cleaning and clothing try ons.

Somewhere in there, the bridal suite and guest room have to be made ready. The freezer needs to be rearranged to make room for more food.

And people start arriving on Tuesday.

My siblings are coming from all over. All seven of us siblings will be together for this wedding much to the delight of my 94 year old mother, and some of our friends and other family members will be travelling from out of town as well. Including New Zealand and Romania.

Tonight, my dining table is covered with pedestal and tiered serving dishes while I try to decide the most beautiful and practical way to present the desserts.

These are the little things you don’t think about when you picture a wedding.

Yesterday we were figuring out how everyone is going to get to the wedding because so many people are coming from out of town and some don’t have cars.

This afternoon my husband and daughter went to the park to figure out the construction needed to hang the drapery at the amphitheatre.

My son’s dress clothes are sitting here in the living room waiting for him to try on so we can see what fits, what doesn’t and what needs to be altered.

There are hundreds of these little details.

And yet…

Tonight, none of them seem urgent.

Because right now, this house is quiet.

And that is what is striking me most.

It is so peaceful.

If you walked into this house tonight, you would never know that life is about to explode here.

You wouldn’t know that in a few days people will be arriving with suitcases and wedding clothes and questions. You wouldn’t know that the kitchen is going to be working overtime. You wouldn’t know that family members I haven’t seen in far too long will be walking through the door.

You wouldn’t know that my daughter will soon be a bride.

You would simply see a quiet house on a Thursday night.

And I am sitting here, looking around, knowing that this may be the last truly quiet evening  for a while. I think I want to remember it.

Because once the week gets going, there will be so much happening that I may forget to stop and notice it.

There will be cooking and baking and cleaning and flowers and cars and guests and dresses and hair and makeup and transportation and desserts and a hundred little decisions.

And then there will be the wedding.

The wedding.

I’ve been anticipating this moment for 35 years.

For most of my daughter’s life, her wedding was something that belonged to the future. Someday. Eventually. A thing that other people did.

I’ve been married for 45 years. I have a son who is 39 and a daughter who is 35. I’ve attended weddings. I’ve watched weddings in movies. Our favourite movie has always been Father of the Bride with Steve Martin.

I’ve watched weddings from the outside.

But this time, we’re hosting one.

This time, it’s my daughter.

And somehow that makes everything feel completely different.

I have even realized that I feel like this is my moment too.

Not instead of my daughter. Not remotely. She is the bride, and this is her day.

But I am her mother.

I’ve spent 35 years waiting for this moment, and I’ve spent this particular year preparing for it. I will be there beside her when she gets ready. I will welcome the people who have travelled to celebrate with us. I will watch my little girl—who is, of course, a grown woman now—walk into the next chapter of her life.

So yes.

I think I get to have a moment too. Tonight I’m going to sit in my chair and drink my tea. I’m going to look at the ridiculous collection of serving dishes covering my dining table. I’m going to imagine my daughter in her wedding dress.I’m going to imagine the flowers and the food and the music and the laughter and all the things that haven’t happened yet.

And I’m going to enjoy the anticipation.

Because that is part of the joy too.

Once the wedding happens, it will be over. The guests will go home. The cakes will be eaten. The flowers will eventually fade. The house will be quiet again.

Life will go back to its ordinary rhythm.

But tonight, I am standing on the threshold.

Everything is still ahead of me.

And for just this one quiet Thursday evening, I don’t have to do anything about it.

As Scarlett O’Hara would say, I can’t think about that right now. I’ll think about that tomorrow.

Tomorrow is another day.

Tonight, I’m just going to sit here and marvel at the fact that after all these years…

the wedding is only one week away.

And I am going to cherish this moment, because I know I’ll never have it again.

Midsummer’s Night Dream Wedding

Well, it’s midsummer, and we’re up to our eyeballs in wedding preparations.

So far, most of it has been talking because we both have a boatload of sewing to do that hasn’t really begun. Well… we’ve done a little. But we have been picking up décor props, we’ve bought all the fabric for our sewing projects, and I’ve arranged the caterer for the family dinner. So it’s not like we haven’t accomplished anything.

It just seems a little surreal that we’re planning a wedding.

My daughter is a floral designer. It’s what she does for a living, and she owns her own business. For years she’s been creating flowers for everyone else’s weddings. Last weekend she put together the biggest wedding of her career so far, so for weeks beforehand there was an incredible amount of ordering, organizing, hiring staff, and planning.

As packages kept arriving from Amazon, I’d ask, “So… which wedding is this for?” Finally she laughed and said, “Okay, we’ll call this one the wedding, and when we’re talking about my wedding, we’ll call it my wedding.”

That actually helped.

Her career wedding is now over and, thankfully, it was a huge success. Now it’s time for us to get down to business with my wedding.

What most people don’t realize is that a florist’s work doesn’t end when the ceremony is over. After the celebration, everything has to be dismantled, packed up, loaded into trucks, and hauled back to the city. Then it all comes home.

The flowers don’t go to waste, either. She donates them to hospices, driving all over the city to deliver them. Then there are the rental trucks to return, buckets to wash, and all the new props—urns, pedestals, shelves, and other décor pieces—to sort and store for future weddings.

Even though the wedding was last weekend, she’s still been working twelve-hour days just cleaning up afterward.

People often say, “Oh, the floral industry must be so glamorous.”

My daughter just smiles and says, “You have no idea.”

 

Say Yes to the Dress

Naturally, we had to have a Say Yes to the Dress experience.

So Lexie booked an appointment at a bridal boutique on a weekend when my two sisters from Toronto happened to be in town, and we all traipsed off to enjoy the occasion.

Because Lexie wasn’t exactly following the traditional wedding timeline, she had to be a little…shall we say… vague about her plans. Apparently bridal boutiques are very particular about budgets, venues, wedding dates, and timelines.

Before we went in, she gave us strict instructions.

“Just keep your mouths shut. I’ll do all the talking. You just sit there and do the oohing and aahing.”

My youngest sister, who is almost completely legally blind, announced that she had her own strategy.

“When Lexie comes out in a dress, I’ll just say, ‘Nope, can’t see you in that one.’ Then the next dress: ‘Nope, can’t see you in that one either.’ And finally, ‘Wow, I really can’t see you in that dress.’”

We laughed all day.

Before the appointment, we all went for pedicures and then headed to Lina’s Italian Market for lunch. We made an entire day of it—an experience rather than an errand.

After all, even though Lexie was planning to sew her own wedding dress,  we still wanted us to have the wedding-dress-shopping experience.

And it was wonderful.

We took countless photos and admired gowns that were far beyond anything most sensible people would ever buy. For a few hours, we got to play bride and entourage, and it was every bit as much fun as I had imagined.

A couple of months later, Lexie booked another appointment at a different bridal boutique and invited me along with several of her friends.

This shop was a little more upscale. The dresses were somehow even more beautiful—and considerably more expensive—than the first boutique. They served refreshments while we waited, which only added to the sense that we were participating in something special.

And honestly, from the very first dress she stepped out in, we were captivated.

Lexie has one of those unfair advantages in life: she makes every dress look beautiful.

For a brief moment, I found myself wishing we actually were buying one.

Not because we needed to. Between the two of us, we’re perfectly capable of designing and sewing exactly the dress she wants. Ours will fit her properly from the start and won’t require expensive alterations.

Still, it was fun to imagine.

The entire journey has been wonderful so far.

As my one and only opportunity to be Mother of the Bride, I am absolutely lapping it up and making the most of every moment.

I know I make this sound as though it’s all about me.

And, well… hello?

It kind of is about me too.

I gave birth to a girl. I raised a girl. I taught her to walk, talk, eat, sew, bake, and dress herself.

I think it’s about time I got something out of this relationship.

At the very least, I deserve a few bridal boutiques, some pedicures, and a front-row seat to the wedding.

 

Showers of Blessing

Given that Lexie and RED had gotten married in our backyard in front of an audience of seven, and given that they were living in a dark, damp basement bedroom in our home, I was determined that Lexie would still get to enjoy some of the traditional wedding experiences.

So last fall, my best friend and I—the mother of two of Lexie’s closest friends—planned a bridal shower for her.

Since I was running the show, I decided that I could pull out all the stops and make it as grand as I wanted. In the end, we settled on a travel theme, since travel was how she and RED had met. It wasn’t quite as fluffy and romantic as some of my original ideas, but it was perfectly suited to them, and we had an absolute blast putting it together.

I invited everyone I could think of who had been part of Lexie’s life and our family’s story. Two of my sisters and my niece even flew in from Toronto for the occasion.

For one glorious afternoon, Lexie was the princess bride.

She was showered with beautiful gifts—so many, in fact, that we had to store them temporarily at my sister-in-law’s house because we had absolutely no room for them at ours.  Our friends were so generous.  They send funds and my friend and I did the shopping off of Lexie’s bridal registry.  We had SO much fun.

At the shower we took countless photos. We watched a video chronicling Lexie and RED’s relationship, lovingly put together by my niece. We sipped mimosas and laughed and cried in all the right places.

One of Lexie’s friends made a stunning Lambeth cake. I made homemade macarons, which turned out surprisingly well considering they’re such tricky little buggers. There were candles, flowers, and twinkling fairy lights strung across the ceiling beneath billowing clouds of organza.  Luggage  and globe vignettes.

In other words, it was exactly what one would expect from the bride’s crazy mother. We don’t just go the extra mile. We go completely over the top.  But it was well worth it.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

 

The Engagement

RED and Lexie got engaged while they were both living in London. In October of 2023, RED took Lexie to Venice and proposed somewhere in the middle of a busy street.  Being a thoughtful young man, he had even set up a camera to capture the moment. Unfortunately, once we watched the video, we discovered that half of Venice had apparently decided to walk directly between the camera and the proposal. People wandered through completely oblivious to the fact that a life-changing moment was taking place behind them. Perhaps marriage proposals are a common occurrence on the streets of Venice. Whatever the reason, the video was more comical than romantic.

At that point, most of our family didn’t know much about RED. Well, I did. I mean I knew about him…but not much.

A few months earlier, while Lexie was visiting Romania, I had received a panicked phone call from her after she and RED had a disagreement. She was convinced they had broken up and was heartbroken. It turned out to be a temporary misunderstanding, but the intensity of her reaction told me everything I needed to know. This relationship mattered.

So when my sister and niece—who is about Lexie’s age—learned that she had gone to Venice with a mysterious young man, the alarm bells started ringing.

“Do you know this person?”

“Did she go willingly?”

“What is going on?”

“Is she being human trafficked?”

I assured them that she was perfectly fine.

“Calm down,” I said. “I know who he is. I know what this is about.”

I didn’t know about the engagement yet, but I knew about RED and I knew about the trip.

I didn’t actually discover they were engaged until Lexie returned to Canada the following spring. We were out having coffee one day when I noticed a ring on her finger.  Now, she was wearing it on her right hand, but Lexie wasn’t usually someone who wore rings all the time. Besides, this ring looked a little better than something from Shoppers Drug Mart  or the prize box at the dentist’s office.

I asked if it had some special meaning.

“Maybe,” she replied.

“Is it a promise ring?”

“No.”

And that was when she finally admitted that she and RED were engaged.

Apparently RED had wanted to call my husband and ask for Lexie’s hand in marriage the old-fashioned way. The opportunity hadn’t presented itself yet, so they were keeping the engagement quiet.

That conversation was also when I learned that RED would be moving to Canada in August. We would need to find somewhere for him to live.

Long story longer, a friend of ours who is a certified marriage officiant married RED and Lexie in our backyard. Since they intended to marry anyway, they chose the spousal sponsorship so they could start the visa process.

We built them a room in our basement, and they have lived here ever since.

Not exactly the Venetian fairy-tale ending people imagine when they think of an engagement.  But then again, real life rarely follows the script.  And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Father of the Bride

Now Lexie and her father are two peas in a pod.

Lexie and I have a wonderful relationship. We have a lot in common. We’re both creative, we’re both women, and of course we’re mother and daughter. We like many of the same things and can often read each other’s minds. That’s not to say we don’t occasionally exasperate one another, because we certainly do.

But Lexie and my husband Mike? That’s a whole different story.

Their personalities are remarkably similar. They understand each other on a level that sometimes leaves the rest of us watching from the sidelines. In much the same way, my son Andrew and I share an emotional wavelength. We don’t necessarily have the same interests, but somehow we’re often feeling the same things.  It’s interesting how families work that way.

This summer, Mike will be the quintessential father of the bride.  He’s already been asking whether he can wear one of his old suits to the wedding.  The answer, of course, has been a unanimous no.  Naturally, this brings to mind Father of the Bride, where Steve Martin squeezes himself into an old suit, only to split it dramatically while parading around the house. Every time Mike mentions one of his ancient suits, that’s the scene that flashes into my mind.  However,  he found a decent suit sitting in the basement that still fits because Mike has amazingly kept his girlish figure over all the years and its been bride approved.

Just as he has gone above and beyond over the years to help Lexie build her floral business—surrendering our garage and occasionally half the house in the process—he’ll spend much of this summer building props and structures for the wedding. Everyone seems to have a role. Mine involves sewing things and  feeding people.  Lexie and Red are hosting a family dinner as part of the wedding weekend, so I’ll be organizing food, negotiating with caterers, baking pies and butter tarts, and making sure everyone is well supplied with comfort and calories.  I’ll also be sewing tablecloths, backdrops, umbrella covers, and whatever other decorative items are required to transform a patch of forest into a wedding venue.

Most likely, I’ll also be helping with her wedding dress.  Holding things up and pinning things. She is designing it herself and has her own ideas so I will just be the sous seamstress.  At the moment,  the fabric is sitting under the sewing table all 15 meters intact. Yikes.

The funny thing is that Lexie knows this industry inside and out. As a floral designer, she’s immersed in the wedding world every day. She knows the planners, the florists, the photographers, the venues, and all the moving parts that most brides never see. She has a very clear vision for her wedding.  Through friendships, favours, and a little strategic bartering, she’s gathered an impressive team of people who will help bring that vision to life.

And so I sit here in my favourite chair—my reading chair, praying chair, contemplating-life chair, and occasionally my staring-out-the-window chair—and I imagine how it will all come together.

More than anything, I want this wedding weekend to feel like the vision she carries in her heart.

As the RSVPs arrive and the date draws nearer, the reality of it all is beginning to settle in. This isn’t simply a wedding. It’s a celebration of a marriage that has already begun.  And somehow that makes it feel even more meaningful.

A Father of the Bride Summer

At long last, we are planning a wedding in this home.

We’ve talked about it. Dreamed about it. Imagined it. Ever since my daughter Lexie was little, being a bride and having a wedding has been part of our conversations. Lexie always knew she wanted a wedding—even during the years when she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted a husband.

And now, at long last, it’s come to fruition.

She’s found her prince charming, so to speak. Although if we’re being realistic, is any man really Prince Charming?

Red comes close.

Had I ever imagined that my future son-in-love would be named after a colour? No. For years, as I prayed for Lexie’s future husband, I gave him a name. Paul. Paul after the Apostle Paul. It somehow felt less abstract to pray for an unknown boy and eventual man if he had a name.

Years later, when Red was telling Lexie about his childhood in Romania, he spoke about how often he and his older brother were left on their own. They got into some trouble, as boys often do, but he remarked that he was surprised they hadn’t gotten into much worse trouble or experienced more serious consequences.Without missing a beat, Lexie replied, “That’s because my mom has been praying for you since I was a baby.”I was ridiculously delighted when she told me that story—not only because she remembered all those years of prayers, but because she knew exactly when to tell him.

Red hails from Romania. Lexie met him while living in London, England, for two years. When her time there came to an end, she essentially brought him home with her.Because he was immigrating to Canada, he wasn’t immediately able to work, which made finding a place of their own difficult. So we happily welcomed them into our home.

One month after Red arrived, they were married in our backyard. The visa process began, life moved forward, and now, almost two years later, we’re finally planning the wedding celebration.

Since I work in a school, I have summers off. This summer will be spent sewing for the wedding, planning the wedding, baking for the wedding, and decorating for the wedding.

And if I’m honest, this whole wedding business has been a dream of mine too.

Of course, I had my own wedding 45 years ago and I’m still married to the same wonderful man. But back then, weddings weren’t quite the cultural phenomenon they’ve become. The wedding itself wasn’t the dream; it was simply the vehicle that got you to the marriage.

Somewhere along the way, weddings became something more. They became celebrations, family stories, and treasured memories before they even happened.

Lexie and I share an affection for the movie Father of the Bride. We quote it far more often than any reasonable people should. Over the years it has become part of our family language. Sometimes I’ll say, “This is a Father of the Bride day.” What I mean is difficult to explain. It isn’t really about weddings. It’s about a feeling. A sense of gratitude. A recognition that life, for all its hardships and surprises, has produced a moment worth celebrating.

A Father of the Bride day is a good day.

And this summer, I suspect there will be many of them.

Somewhere to Stay

Instead of looking for somewhere to go… build somewhere to stay.

I love that. It reminds me of another saying I heard once: Instead of trying to escape your life, build a life you don’t need to escape from.

That feels much closer to the kind of life I want.

I’ve never really had that feeling of “Anywhere but here.” I like my home. I like my life. I like my people. I realize that may sound rather ordinary, but perhaps that’s exactly the point. Somewhere along the way our culture started convincing us that ordinary isn’t enough. We begin to believe that fulfillment must always be found somewhere else—on another continent, another beach, another adventure, another bucket-list destination.

We pour so much expectation into “getting away.” We imagine ease, rest, perfection. Yet right off the bat, airports are usually none of those things. They’re crowded, noisy, expensive, and exhausting. And that’s before you’ve even reached your destination.

Then you arrive and discover the room isn’t what you expected. There are cockroaches. Or construction next door. Or you packed the wrong shoes and the wrong clothes—the ones you paid an extra two hundred dollars to bring. Your luggage disappears. Your return flight is cancelled. You drink the water you shouldn’t have, or eat at the little restaurant everyone recommended and spend the next day in bed with food poisoning. A political coup breaks out. Maybe that’s an extreme example—but the point is, travel isn’t paradise. It’s simply life… in another location.

Of course, many trips go beautifully. There are places in this world I would genuinely love to see. I often imagine going on a cooking vacation to Italy or France. And I’d hesitate to say no to beaches with warm sand, seashells, and impossibly blue water. I understand why people travel, and I don’t begrudge them that joy for a moment.

But every time I think seriously about planning a trip, I find myself asking a different question.

Is it worth leaving a life I already love?

Because when I look around, I realize that so much of what brings me happiness is already here.

My people are here. Well… to be honest, most of them are living in my house.

If we decide on a whim to have everyone over for burgers in the backyard, everything we need is already here. We can string up the lights, light the barbecue, sit around the table long after the dishes have been cleared away, laughing over stories we’ve heard a dozen times but still enjoy.

If a summer thunderstorm rolls in, we can order pizza, put on a movie, and listen to the rain pound against the windows while we’re warm and dry inside.

On quiet afternoons I can read a good book, work on a puzzle, fuss over my flowers, pull a few weeds, admire something new that’s blooming, or spend an afternoon baking bread that makes the whole house smell welcoming.

Friends can come for dinner without anyone needing a passport.

Christmas can last as long as we want it to. We can linger over traditions, decorate the tree one ornament at a time, celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, and make a much bigger fuss over life’s milestones than the world probably thinks necessary.

These are the things that become a life.

These are the memories that quietly weave themselves into a family.

Perhaps that’s why I don’t really have wanderlust. It’s not that I don’t appreciate beauty in other places. It’s simply that I don’t believe contentment is waiting for me somewhere else. I don’t think joy lives at the end of a boarding pass.

I’ve discovered that home can become its own destination if you’re willing to build it that way.

And then there’s another reason.

As a Christ follower, this world isn’t my final destination anyway. Scripture reminds me that I’m just passing through. So while I’m here, I want to build a life marked by gratitude instead of constantly searching for the next escape. I want a home where people feel welcomed, where meals are shared, where conversations linger, where faith grows quietly, and where love is practiced in a thousand ordinary ways.

Now… if someone happened to offer me a week on a quiet beach with warm sand beneath my feet, seashells scattered along the shore, and an azure ocean stretching to the horizon… I certainly wouldn’t refuse.

Whether it’s worth all the hassle to get there?

The jury’s still out.